Up The EnterprizeTM

A View from Below the Texas Health and Human Services Enterprize System

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Welcome travelers, be you fellow employees of the Enterprize, consumers of its generous bounty of services, stake drivers, legislators, or out-of-state observers in search of best practices in matters such as these. 


Newly-appointed HHS Enterprize Executive Commissioner Charles Smith is thrilled not to be working at the AG's office anymore.

... in just two years!

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The Facts

PERPS: The Chrisses

  • Chris Adams, HHS Enterprize Chief Amazing Transformation Czar
  • Chris Traylor, HHS Enterprize Executive Commissioner (Co-conspirator)


OFFENSE: Not reading Senate Bill 200, prior to creating the HHS Transformation Plan required by Senate Bill 200.

 

​CHRIS AND CHRIS TAKE THE PERP WALK

 It was the last time the glass doors of the HHS Enterprize Headquarters would swoosh open for Chief Amazing Transformation Czar Chris Adams and alleged co-conspirator Chris Traylor, HHS Enterprize Executive Commissioner. Greeted by their five supporters, the two handcuffed leaders were escorted by a Texas Ranger (no, not the one who just took over DFPS) proclaiming their innocence, shouting that they were only embracing change as they were told to do.

“We were only embracing change as we were told to do!!” declared the Chrisses, as print reporters

argued amongst themselves about how to pluralize the name “Chris.” Chrisses? Two guys named Chris?

On April 27, the
Transition Legislative Oversight Committee sent a little letter to the Chrisses, very politely informing them that the plan had some very nice pictures and charts, but that it otherwise sucked big time. Boy, were the Chrisses surprised!

“We were very surprised!” said the Chrisses. “Especially when the letter mentioned
Senate Bill 200 and how we didn’t do what it said. And then the letter mentioned Senate Bill 200 again and said we didn’t do a whole lot of other stuff.”

 “And then,” one of the Chrises – the big one – said, “we found Senate Bill 200 on the
internet and read some of it and –.”

“They were right!!” interrupted the other Chris. “It was all there, right Chris?

 “That’s right, Chris!” said Chris. “We sure could have saved a lot of time if somebody had told us about this earlier!”

 “Yeah, and the committee told us we should hire a consultant to do all the work next time!”

 We we’re gonna do that from the git-go,” said Chris. “But we thought you couldn’t hire consultants anymore.”

Newly-appointed HHS
Enterprize Executive Commissioner Charles Smith had hoped authorities would allow the duo to retire quietly, but FBI agents (still on-sight investigating contract scandals from the last HHS executive commissioner’s reign) decided to indict the pair for gross negligence and aggravated hubris. The final decision to prosecute was made when somebody sat down and calculated the actual cost of the year-long effort to write a transformation plan without reading the legislation mandating the plan. No worries, though. Executive Commissioner Smith, having recently worked for Attorney General Ken Paxton, has considerable experience working in an agency whose senior leadership is under multiple criminal indictments.

Springing into action, he announced that Stephanie Muth will be the new HHS Chief Amazing Transformation Czar. Although Ms. Muth has been Deputy Executive Commissioner for the Office of Social Services and the one responsible for delivering public assistance and community based services to Texans, E.C. Smith said he would overlook that. He also said that Muth has agreed to forget everything she’s learned in her nearly 20 years of government service.

New  Transformation Czar Stephanie Muth congratulates an unidentified homeless man at a recent Enterprize "You Can Do It!" awards banquet.

... in just two years!

Here's the key to everything:



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Please let the waiter know if you need more water.  


New  Transformation Czar Stephanie Muth congratulates an unidentified homeless man at a recent Enterprize "You Can Do It! awards banquet.

Up The EnterprizeTM

A View from Below the Texas Health and Human Services Enterprize System

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THE PERP WALK

All five Chris and Chris supporters cheer the perps outside HHS Enterprize H.Q.

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